Triple P Additional Information

Queenstown Lakes Family Centre staff practice evidence based parenting Triple P (Postivie Parenting Programme)

When it comes to raising kids, everyone has an opinion. There are so many ideas out there. So how do you know what’s best and what works? QLFC staff are taking the guesswork out of parenting, supporting parents and caregivers with the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program.

Triple P gives parents simple tips to help manage the big and small problems of family life. Problems like a child’s tantrums. Self-esteem issues. Bedtime battles. Disobedience. Aggression. Triple P can help you deal with them all – and more! And Triple P is one of the few parenting programmes in the world with evidence to show it works for most families.

Triple P Positive Parenting

Triple P helps you manage your child’s behaviour, emotions and development in a way that isn’t hurtful. You will build strong relationships, communicate well and encourage the kind of behaviour you want to see.

Positive parenting is a great way to parent. Children who grow up with positive parenting do well at school. They make friends easily. They feel good about themselves. And they’re also less likely to have behavioural or emotional problems when they get older.

Positive parenting is also great for you. Positive parenting helps parents feel more confident and less stressed. And you will have less conflict with your partner about parenting issues.

There are five key steps to Triple P’s Positive Parenting. The tips you will get in your Triple P sessions are based on these five steps. They are:

Create a safe, interesting environment

When children play and explore it helps them develop skills. But, sometimes, they need to do this on their own, without you always watching them.

So, a home that is safe is essential. That’s not only for your child’s sake, but for yours as well. When you put knives out of reach, lock away medicine or give your child a helmet for bike riding, you can relax a little. You won’t always be looking out for potential dangers or yelling, “Don’t touch that!”.

Also, make sure you provide lots of interesting things for a child to do. You don’t have to buy all the latest, most expensive toys. But have lots of play things, crafts and activities to keep your child active. You’ll soon see that children who are playing by themselves are less likely to become bored. Remember, bored children often misbehave!

Have a positive learning environment

Children need their parents’ attention. But that doesn’t mean you have to play with them every minute of the day. It’s more important that you’re there for them when they come to you for help or to talk – even if it’s only for a minute or so at a time.

It also helps to be positive about things your child is doing. Pay attention when you see them doing something you like. Give them a little praise or show them you like what they’re doing. That increases the chance they’ll do it again! A pat on the head or a “Thank you for playing quietly while I was on the phone” is a great way to encourage the behaviour in the future.

Other tips for creating a positive learning environment include:

  • Speak nicely. This shows your children you respect them and teaches them how to speak politely to others.
  • Use “Incidental Teaching.” This means teach them when you can. For example, don’t just give your child an answer to a question. Prompt your child to talk about it or give them a clue to find the answer themselves. They’ll learn more that way.
  • Share your own experiences. Children need practice at listening too. Tell them something about your day or something they may be interested in.
  • Be affectionate. Show your child you love them. Kisses, cuddles and hugs will make your child feel wanted and secure.

Use assertive discipline

Discipline isn’t a dirty word. In fact, assertive discipline helps children understand that their behaviour always has consequences and that those consequences are carried out in a predictable, loving environment. This means your child will feel safe and secure and will know what to expect.

Assertive discipline not only helps children learn to accept responsibility for their behaviour, it also helps them learn to consider the feelings and needs of others. And it helps them develop self-control too.

For parents, assertive discipline means you are prepared. You set clear ground rules and tell your child what to do rather than what not to do. You give clear, calm instructions and are consistent from one day to the next. Your child will soon learn that you always follow through. They know that you mean what you say!

But you also don’t have to jump on every minor problem. Ignore misbehaviour you think is an attempt to get attention. Don’t make a fuss and it may go away.

If set rules are broken, act quickly, stay calm and follow up with fair, age-appropriate consequences, such as taking away a toy for a few minutes.

And remember to praise behaviour you like. Try to catch your child following rules and congratulate them for it – especially when they’re learning something new.

Have realistic expectations

Children aren’t all the same. They’re individuals with their own personalities. Even kids of the same age develop at different rates. So it’s important that you, as a parent, don’t expect more – or less – of your child than he or she is capable of doing.

It’s also important to remember that nobody’s perfect. Not your kids and not you.

If you expect your child will always be polite, happy or cooperative, you will be disappointed. Kids do make mistakes, but most mistakes aren’t intentional. It’s okay to let your child try and fail.

And don’t forget to go easy on yourself, too. You probably want to be the very best parent ever to have children. But that’s not realistic. You are human. You will make mistakes. Don’t get too frustrated or upset. Everyone learns through experience.

Take care of yourself

Parenting is so much easier when you make time for yourself. It’s about getting the balance right!

Of course, raising children is a time-consuming job. It can seem to take over your whole life. But you have to look after your own needs too.

So make sure you get support from friends or family. Do something you enjoy that doesn’t involve the kids. Maybe even spend a little time alone! And try to work as a team with your partner, if you can.

Look after yourself and you’ll feel more patient and calm when your child needs you. And you’ll feel better about being a mum or dad.

Reference: www.triplep_parenting.net (2014)

Disclaimer

The material on this website is offered as general and helpful information to parents. It is not intended to replace clinical advice or to provide comprehensive information or strategies to deal with all situations that could arise during parenting.

The Triple P – Positive Parenting Program® is an effective, practical approach to raising children. It is based on the development of strong nurturing relationships, and aims to prevent behavioural and emotional problems in children. Triple P is supported by a body of evidence that shows its efficacy with many families in many different cultures and situations. Various factors may affect whether a Triple P programme is effective with a particular child, including the child’s age, and developmental level, the child’s setting/environment, and the parent’s skill and persistence in applying the programme.

Children who exhibit signs of dangerous behaviour, to either themselves or others, should be referred to a qualified professional. Parents with children currently under the supervision of a professional are encouraged to discuss their participation in Triple P with that professional.

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